Doing Whatever it Takes

Many times since I stopped publishing Evolving Woman I have thought of new projects to start. You know, that book I’ve never quite finished, a new workshop or seminar, post a Web site. Usually, I’m too busy to even think about them, let alone start working on one. I knew these things were my passions, but I didn’t have the energy to pursue them. Or I thought they would take too long to reach fruition. I finally realized I had to be stable, secure, and want it badly enough to be at a place where I could go forward.

I don’t necessarily mean stability in a financial sense. When I had a stable, predictable income I couldn’t move forward. The job was so demanding, my time and energy so limited, that there wasn’t a way to move forward. But I do believe we must have the stability of a secure income to pursue our dreams—otherwise, the worry over money negatively affects the process. So, for me, I’ve decided it’s a matter of wanting it badly enough, then doing whatever it takes. Which for me includes a stable income, but one that has less demands on my energy and time so that I am free to pursue my passions with patience.

Warning: the following includes blatant self-promotion.

Since this realization I’ve taken on the three aforementioned projects with zeal. I’ve posted a Web site promoting my writing services, workshops and syndicated content: Dutton Communications (yes, click on that link and check it out). I’ve almost finished that book and plan to publish it first as an e-book. I’m in the process of creating a workbook, which I’ll sell as an e-book as well, but is really a tool for a new workshop I’m creating.

For years now I have been paring down, simplifying my life. I eliminated anything that did not serve a purpose. I let go of so many attachments that at times I felt naked, but in doing so I created a space for new growth. And now, I feel that I finally have the freedom to create.

How to Raise a Grown Child

Both of my daughters, Christina and Tara are in their 20s. Two completely different girls, I admire different strengths in each of them. Christina, loving mother, shows strength and determination I have rarely seen. Tara, the visionary, exudes an enthusiasm and sweetness few possess. Each has struggles and conflicts to maneuver. As a mother, I worry about them both.

My dilemma is how do I positively influence my children without infringing on their personal boundaries or pushing them away? I am of the belief that each child is her own person, free to make her own decisions and mistakes. My hope is that I may positively present options so they can choose their appropriate paths.

What I’m finding myself doing (much to my dismay) is acting in a similar way to the medical profession: I find myself providing crisis intervention rather than teaching my children preventative techniques on which to build the foundation of their lives.

So I’m curious—how do you think we can aid and influence our grown children? Should we interfere or let them make their own mistakes? Is there a way to positively show our life experiences without their feeling threatened? Can our children ever clearly see the mistakes we’ve made so that they might learn from them in advance—or are they destined to experience them on their own?