Both of my daughters, Christina and Tara are in their 20s. Two completely different girls, I admire different strengths in each of them. Christina, loving mother, shows strength and determination I have rarely seen. Tara, the visionary, exudes an enthusiasm and sweetness few possess. Each has struggles and conflicts to maneuver. As a mother, I worry about them both.
My dilemma is how do I positively influence my children without infringing on their personal boundaries or pushing them away? I am of the belief that each child is her own person, free to make her own decisions and mistakes. My hope is that I may positively present options so they can choose their appropriate paths.
What I’m finding myself doing (much to my dismay) is acting in a similar way to the medical profession: I find myself providing crisis intervention rather than teaching my children preventative techniques on which to build the foundation of their lives.
So I’m curious—how do you think we can aid and influence our grown children? Should we interfere or let them make their own mistakes? Is there a way to positively show our life experiences without their feeling threatened? Can our children ever clearly see the mistakes we’ve made so that they might learn from them in advance—or are they destined to experience them on their own?
1 comment:
I find if I let go of the control and the need to make it all right, my children see and feel my love. At times, I want to jump in and fix it. It hurts when the plan doesn't go the way I think it should. However, stepping back, breathing, and trusting the universe will guide and protect my children, I find the greatest peace.
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